


Terrors

by Raven_Ehtar



Series: Loki's Brood [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Norse Religion & Lore
Genre: Established Relationship, Family, Family Feels, FrostIron - Freeform, Gen, Loki's Kids, M/M, Nightmares, Parent Loki, Parent Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-12
Updated: 2013-07-12
Packaged: 2017-12-19 05:25:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/879941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven_Ehtar/pseuds/Raven_Ehtar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nightmares are even more terrifying when they're actually memories.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Terrors

**Author's Note:**

> For those who have wanted to know more about the history of Loki’s kids, well, you get a little bit here. It’s not all of the background that I have for them, but it’s something. 
> 
> And seriously, guys, thank you all SO much for the support on this series. It’s fun to write and I love working with this particular dynamic, but it makes it a thousand times better to know that there are folks who like to read them as well. Thank you all, and I hope you continue to enjoy what I churn out for Loki’s Brood!
> 
>  **Historian’s Note:** This series takes place after Phase One. Anything post The Avengers is not taken into account.
> 
>  **Soundtrack:** ‘[Loki's Brood](http://8tracks.com/raven-ehtar/loki-s-brood)' on 8tracks

Tony would never get used to waking up to screams.

The first piercing shriek had him leaping out of bed, somehow disentangling himself simultaneously from the blankets and from Loki, who was also coming out of sleep at a run. By the second scream the first voice was joined by a second, and both men were halfway down the hall from their bedroom to the next. At the third set of terrified shrieks Tony and Loki were in the triplet’s bedroom, with Loki dashing to Hela and Tony to Fenrir, their two screamers. Both sat up in their bed, eyes staring but unseeing.

It wasn’t until Tony had his arms around Fen, patting his back and rocking on the bed, that he went off of automatic. This had become far too familiar a routine. 

The screaming did not stop immediately. It took some time, some effort to get Fen, who still hadn’t actually woken up from his dreams, to calm down. The boy fought against him at first, taking him for whatever was menacing him in his mind, striking out and his screams coming in short, hostile bursts. There were probably words in there, or what were meant to be words, but they were lost in Fen’s sleepy slur, and drowned out by the cries and whimpers from his sister. Slowly he did calm down, his shouts and fighting becoming intermittent whimpers and spasmodic twitches, then quiet, fearful snuffling, his face and fists buried in the front of Tony’s shirt. From the sound of it, Loki was having the same experience with Hela.

Tony continued to rock slowly on the bed, one arm wrapped around the boy, the other petting his sweat damp hair. The boy’s entire body began to tremble in the aftermath of the night terror. Tony did his best to reassure him, murmuring comforting nonsense. 

“Shh-sh-sh, it’s okay, it’s alright, Fen. Everything is alright. It’s just dreams, they can’t hurt you. You’re home and safe, it’s okay. It’s okay, brave boy… iron-daddy’s here, it’s alright…”

And so on. Slowly the boy’s shivers began to subside and the weeping to quiet. Tony could feel the little body in his arms grow heavier, slipping back into full sleep and hopefully more serene dreams. Still Tony rocked him, refusing to let go until he was certain the terror had fully passed.

From the bed behind him Tony could hear Loki still murmuring to Hela, who had also quieted down to snuffling breaths. 

As they went, this incident wasn’t too bad. Usually it took more than twenty minutes to calm the kids down after a bout of night terrors, with some incidents taking hours and Tony and Loki spending whatever remained of the night in the kid’s bedroom with them, grown up sentinels against black dreams. As time went on the incidents were becoming fewer and fewer, wider spaced and, like this time, less severe than they had been than when Loki and the triplets had first blown into his life. Tony viewed it as a major achievement, and not without a certain sense of pride, that their nights were slowly calming; that their dreams were becoming less a thing to fear, more a place to escape _to_ rather than _from._

But then, with that pride and that joy also came a certain bitterness, a deep resentment that there was a reason for the kids to fear their own dreams in the first place. The cause was still unknown to him, but he’d gathered enough to know that there was a _whom_ to target his fury at, and Tony felt no guilt at nursing it until he had a name – and a body – to direct it against.

There was a sound behind him, a slight shift in weight on the girl’s bed, then Loki’s voice, pitched low and quiet in the shadows. “Are you alright, Jörmungandr?”

Tony looked around, squinting into the dark. The beds were arranged into a kind of horseshoe pattern, with each having their own wall. Hela’s was in the center, at the apex of the shoe, with either of her brothers to the sides. Across the room from where Tony sat on Fenrir’s bed was Jör’s, piled high with pillows and blankets to nestle himself into. Jör he could just make out, a little bare head sticking out of his mountain of bedding, watching what was going on and not making a sound. 

At his father’s question the head bobbed. “Yes.” He paused, and in the dim illumination offered by the nightlights around the room, Tony saw him bite his lip. “Are _they_ okay?”

Tony nodded. “Yeah, they’re alright, slim. It wasn’t too bad this time.”

“Try to get some more sleep,” Loki said after a moment, when Jör still hadn’t lain back down. “Your brother and sister will be fine.”

It took a moment before Jör settled back into his pillows, but he did. For whatever reason, Jör never seemed to suffer as much from the night terrors as the other two, but he’d had them often enough to know that when Tony and Loki appeared, then everything was better. Tony listened as the boy dug himself into his nest and settled, the small noises of shifting slowly dying away, then, barely audible, the breathing deepened as Jörmungandr fell back asleep.

Tony, facing the blank darkness of another night spent listening to the kids as they slept, found himself facing a familiar dilemma to go with it. He desperately wanted to know more of what had happened to the triplets before they and Loki had come to him, what it was that had triggered off the nightmares that stuck with them for years after the fact. Not all nightmares stemmed from traumatic events, but all three of the kids being affected like this, and the other clues he sometimes got, told him these weren’t just a childish phase. He wanted some idea of what they were running from in their sleep, what it was that brought them awake screaming in the dead of night. However, that was a line of questioning that was closed off to him. Even if Tony hadn’t been able to tell from how the air went frigid whenever he skirted around the subject – and he could, he had the frostbite to prove it – Thor had warned him off, telling him flat out that this was something that Tony was not to pry into. Normally such a flat out ‘no’ would have had him breaking the rule before it even had a chance to cool. This time he actually paid heed, and let the matter rest. 

Didn’t mean that it didn’t chafe something chronic, though.

They sat in the darkened room with the kids for a good hour, staying with them as the sounds of breathing deepened around them.

Tony waited until he was certain all three of the kids were truly asleep, with Fen snoring lightly into his chest. Then he braced himself for a little more frostbite.

“Loki?”

The Asgardian was still behind him, seated with Hela on her bed. Tony had his back to him, but he could feel how the man tensed slightly. The apprehension sneaking into Tony’s voice was plain, though he did his best to cover it up. “Yes?”

Tony licked his lips, wondering if now really was the time. It was late, they were both tired, and if this was going to be something that triggered a Loki hissy fit, then the triplets’ bedroom was probably not the best place. But, then again, it might be. With three sleeping children to consider Loki wouldn’t be as likely to completely lose his temper. At least not until they left the room again.

“These nightmares, they’re memories.” It was a statement, not a question. 

“Yes,” Loki confirmed. His tone was definitely wary now, a shade of warning sharpening it further.

But he hadn’t shot Tony down, yet. That was encouraging. He had no intention of attacking what Loki feared he would head on – he wasn’t delusional enough to think that that would work – but he still might get shut down for coming too close. “If they’re memories,” he said, keeping his voice carefully neutral, “then couldn’t you… magic them away? Erase them, suppress them or whatever? That would cure the night terrors, wouldn’t it?”

Tony’s skin fairly crawled with the tension that suddenly filled the room, but he didn’t back down, didn’t retract the question. He might end up spending the rest of the night on the couch – or the roof if Loki were _really_ pissed – but he had never withdrawn a question he’d gotten up the guts to ask before, and damned if he was going to start now.

Finally, the storm broke. “It is not so simple as that,” Loki said, and he sounded tired, like they really were awake at four in the morning, woken by their screaming children, and that he was as subject to sleep deprivation as anyone else. “I do wish them healed of this, for their nightmares to ebb away. But for me to force the matter … it can be done, but I will not. They must keep their memories and heal in their own time.”

Tony frowned, staring down at the dirty blond head that moved gently in its sleep. “Why?”

“So that they remember why it is they can never go back,” Loki’s voice was flat. “Without the memory of what happened there, they might one day return, and that would be… unfortunate. Even now, they would be hunted if they returned to Asgard.”

“Hunted?”

There was silence behind Tony, large and heavy. It told him Loki had let that word slip, and was now wishing he could call it back. “Yes…” he said slowly, then fell silent again for some time. Tony didn’t push him, but let Loki consider his next words as much as he wanted to.

When eventually Loki did speak again, his words halting, obviously having difficulty with what was coming out of his mouth. “I never intended… to put them in any danger. Until it was too late, it never occurred to me that my actions, _all_ of them, would reflect so strongly on them. I had thought that they were unknown to anyone in Asgard, save the Allfather. But I was mistaken.” He paused again, only the sound of his breathing coming across the room.

Tony remained silent, amazed at how much Loki was willing to say, and even more amazed that he seemed to be willing to continue. Possibly the darkness had something to do with it, making it easier for Loki to speak about what had always given him so much trouble. It made it safer, it provided the illusion of being alone, speaking to nothing but shadows. Tony wouldn’t break that illusion by breaking the silence. He waited, instead, just another shadow in the darkened bedroom. 

When next Loki spoke, his voice was undercut with a deep, resonant rage. “I was very wrong in that assumption. After my crimes against Asgard, against Thor and my father, there were certain ‘brave warriors’ of the Realm… They had heard from somewhere, rumors, that Loki the Trickster had a woman. A wife or something very like one. They heard about her and Loki’s monstrous get, and they sought them out to…” Loki trailed away. His voice lost the rage, and became calm, almost flat. “I know not. To purge Asgard of all that I had tainted, of all that bore any mark of me and so gain the Allfather’s favor? To avenge themselves of some imagined slight, perhaps, for I am known to be guilty of many. Or… perhaps it was to take out their dark impulses on those they believed no one would care enough to defend… It might have been simple fear that drove them. But find them the warriors did, and whatever their reasons, they achieved their purpose.” 

In the silence, Tony’s blood went icy. Loki didn’t go on to explain what ‘their purpose’ was, and he didn’t need to. Warriors of Asgard who wanted revenge and found ‘Loki’s woman,’ a mother whose children had never once mentioned her in over two years, nor Loki himself… no, Tony was certain he knew what had happened to her. And then to the triplets. 

Still holding Fen, heavy, warm and completely asleep, Tony tried to beat down the hatred rising in him. If he ever met these ‘brave warriors of Asgard’…

“Were they punished?” Tony asked, voice raw to his own ears. It was breaking his unspoken rule to never directly question anything to do with the kids’ past, but he needed to know this. At least this much he had to know for sure.

Another long silence was Tony’s answer, and it was all he really needed. If they had been punished at all, it wasn’t nearly enough. 

“Three weeks, Stark,” Loki ground out. “Three weeks from the time they came upon my family and when the Guard stumbled on them, and dragged them all back to the city.”

Three weeks, Tony thought blankly. Three weeks the kids were in the hands of those who must have killed their mother before they were rescued. His mind skittered away from trying to think of what could have happened to them in that time. Instead, casting out for something, _anything_ else to focus on, Tony realized that this might be the source of another set of frictions that had been present for some time. 

“Loki… where was Thor during all of this?”

He must have heard the dread in Tony’s tone, because Loki answered quickly. “He was ignorant of what was happening, Stark. Whether he was _intentionally_ ignorant or not, I do not know, but…” he trailed away. Thor had always been a difficult subject to breach with Loki, even without the addition of the triplets. Tony let it go.

Personally, he didn’t think that Thor would have been willingly blind to the plight of his niece and nephews. You only had to watch him with the little ones to know that they completely owned his heart. It must have been hard for Loki, though, to know that his brother was so close to his children when they needed him, and he had done nothing. He could understand the need to blame, even if the one bearing the brunt of it was guiltless. 

It helped explain the flickers of shame Tony had seen in the big man from time to time, the lingering humiliation that dogged him. He could no more easily forget what had happened than could the children or his brother.

Eventually, as the time approached for them to head back to their own bed, Tony made himself ask. “Loki… do you still have nightmares?”

“… No.”

It was one of the few times Tony felt he could call Loki on a lie.

**Author's Note:**

> I’ll try to keep the ‘Tony wakes abruptly out of a sound sleep’ beginnings to a minimum from now on. ;)


End file.
